Saturday, June 24, 2017

Showing My Roots

I inherited the premature gray hair gene from my late father. Couple this with the fact that my hair grows a quarter inch a week (from my late mother's side), it results in me having to color my hair every 3 weeks because my gray roots show against my darker hair!

Gray hair aside, I am proud of my roots - the morals and ethics that ground me when life throws a curve-ball or someone or something I believe in lets me down. My parents were two down to earth, honest, hard working people. My mother was a housewife, a medal she wore with pride, cooking three fresh complicated meals a day from scratch, hand washing and ironing clothes, fixing home made remedies for our ailments and being our community's counselor-at-large. I learned to listen to people and not judge them and that cooking should be a joyful experience.

My mother loved to dress up - even at home, she always had a well-tailored longer dress. When she went out, her saree was always draped well and hair neat in a bun. Special occasions always called for lipstick. She would always quip, "I may be getting older, but I am not dead yet," inspiring me to always be well-attired and never to leave home without lipstick.

My Dad rose before dawn every morning and went to the only job he had, at the national Savings Bank. Other than the days he worked overtime or had to run family errands after work, he was home like clockwork by 6 p.m. Dad instilled in us that we should always be loyal to our employer and that whatever was worth doing was worth doing well. 

There was no complaints department at our simple home in Sri Lanka. Our house was smaller than what was needed for all the children and later grandchildren who lived there, but no one ever complained that they didn't have their own rooms or the fact that we all had to share one bathroom and one shower room. Thank goodness, they were actually two separate rooms!

Looking back now, I realize our meals weren't always lavish by my American standards, but they were always fresh and delicious! And, somehow, there was always enough when unexpected guests arrived just around meal time. My parents never sent anyone away without having them partake of whatever we were eating or without the customary cuppa tea and local biscuits (referred to as cookies in America). They instilled in me to treat everyone like I would want to be treated and that the dining table should be laid out to be a feast for the eyes.

Not having a car never bothered my family as we all had to walk to school or church or take a bus to get to work. I attribute my strong calf muscles to the miles I walked in my younger days!

My dad instilled in me that "books not looks" would help me succeed in life, so I still love to read both fiction and non fiction, and learn new skills.

In all my decades living in the USA, people always ask me about my ethnicity because of my lighter coloring and darker hair. It's all about my roots - Dutch ancestry from my mother and Sri Lankan ancestry from my father. 

My parents may have been ordinary people in the eyes of the world, but to me they were exceptional. And, I am proud that I am always showing my roots - in my work ethic, in my morals, how I treat people, and how I carry myself!

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Heart and Sole

One of my favorite quotes from Forrest Gump is about shoes ... "Momma always says there's an awful lot you could tell about a person by their shoes. Where they're going. Where they've been. I've worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real hard I could remember my first pair of shoes. Momma said they'd take me anywhere. She said they was my magic shoes."

Unlike Forrest, my magic shoes aren't my first pair - they are the shoes that became such a part of me over time. The metaphorical "red stilettos" that encapsulate my career, my passion as a marketer. Just as I loved shoes my whole life, I loved to write and it is this love of writing and the balance of creativity and an analytical mindset that fit me well as I first forayed into a traditional marketing role.

The nice thing about magic shoes is that they give you the power to adapt to ever-changing conditions and I was able to embrace evolving trends of online and digital marketing. But, learning new things isn't necessarily a guarantee of success. One must understand that marketing is understanding human behavior and emotions - why do people respond to a message and why do different people react differently?

My trusty red stilettos have seen a lot of miles - you can tell they have a few scuffs from kicking obstacles out of the way, from wading in water to get to the other side. They tell of the times I had to dig in and the times I had to tip toe. But the heels are still steady and are ready for more miles. Each time I look down at my shoes, I can see the reflection of my face and my heart and I know that regardless of a company's size or industry, my shoes have made me the perfect fit.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Longest Day - the Longest Run

June 20 was Game 7 of a historic 2013 NBA Finals, which ended at the dawn of the longest day in the Northern hemisphere.  This year’s NBA Finals was historic for a number of reasons:

·    The winner of Game 5 in a 2-2 tie did not go on to win the series.

·    In a victorious Game 5, Danny Green who made his first Finals appearance broke Ray Allen’s record of most 3-pointers in a Finals series. (Green made 26 through Game 6 – Allen’s record was 22.)

·     The San Antonio Spurs’ Tim Duncan came in as being the only player in NBA history to be in the finals in three decades.  A notable run!

If you were a casual basketball watcher and not into the stats, you would not know a lot about the Spurs star players because Coach Popovich doesn’t build superstars – he builds teams … quiet, unassuming teams who play not for individual glory but for team success. None of the Spurs roar on the floor, or draw attention through their bodies and hair or make histrionic moves that make them Hollywood worthy.  Somehow, I don’t see a multi-color tattooed Birdman Anderson or a long-bearded James Harden or other controversial player fitting into the comparatively conservative Spurs.

San Antonio is a small market – unlike Los Angeles (home of the Lakers and Clippers); New York (home of the Knicks and Nets) and Miami (home of the Heat), Chicago (home of the Bulls), Boston (home of the Celtics). If you haven’t seen Duncan, Ginobili, Parker or anyone else on the Spurs roster on Wheaties boxes or on national advertisements, it is by design. Greg Popovich prefers that his players focus on the game and not just fame or in some instances notoriety. Perhaps, there may have been some discomfort in Spurs camps when Tony Parker gained national media attention during his relationship with and eventual marriage to actress Eva Langoria and their divorce. 

If you were to pay attention to team chemistry, you will not find a tighter knit group than the Spurs. You will notice the quiet respect that Tim Duncan commands as the leader and the acceptance of each team player of their role. The quiet team spirit and their low key personalities on and off the court can be called their biggest strengths. Unfortunately, on a national level, these strengths have become their weakness. Except for die-hard basketball fans outside of San Antonio, few casual fans tune in to watch the Spurs – unless they are playing a nationally recognized team or an up and coming team like the Oklahoma City Thunder. 

According to the statistics, it is inevitable that Duncan, Parker and Ginobili will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame after they retire, just like George "The Iceman" Gervin, Moses Malone, Dominique Wilkins, David Robinson. Their induction may probably be done sans the fanfare and media circuit interviews in the manner to which they are accustomed. 

If you watched the series, and saw Tim Duncan playing with the same strength and flexibility of the much younger Heat players, you may have not realized that Duncan was 37! The minutes Tony Parker was active on the floor may have made you forget that he had a hamstring injury. And for certain times during some of the games, vintage Ginobili transported us back 6 years ago when they won their last title.

As this team recovers from their heartbreaking loss, let us not forget the superstars on the Spurs team who deserve all the accolades for making this series a long run and who had to live the longest day knowing that victory was so within their reach.

Unlike most teams, the Spurs have remained competitive and relevant throughout Greg Popovich’s coaching history with them. Yet, for all their prowess in many aspects of the game, doesn’t it make you wonder whether being team players has sacrificed the Spurs’ ability to shine as individual super stars?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

6 Degrees of Connection 6 N, 79 E

I love this variant on a John Muir quote, "Tug on anything at all and you'll find it connected to everything else in the universe." It became all the more relevant on a recent visit to Melbourne, Australia after almost 29 years, when I last visited my brother Anton soon after he migrated there in 1984. I moved to the US shortly thereafter. Before all that, Australia used to be one of my favorite destinations when I worked for Singapore Airlines in the late seventies and early eighties. 

My brother Anton had always maintained that I had an open invitation to visit him anytime, and to keep our close relationship more real, he made the long trip many times to visit me in the US. Finally, I put aside my dread of the long flights when he became a grandfather for the first time in March 2013. After all, I had to pass on stories of our childhood to the new generation and I could also meet my oldest nephew and his family who had since migrated to Australia as well. And, shortly before I left New York, I sent a private Facebook message to some of my old friends and arranged to meet them.

As I drove around in Melbourne with my brother and my friends, I noticed that everyone relied on their GPS systems in their vehicles and their mobile phones. Things had definitely changed in the 29 years since I was last in Australia. To put things in perspective, I was born and raised before the technology boom, at 79 Mayfield Road in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Now that most things involve GPS coordinates, I looked up my old home and was amazed to find that its GPS coordinates are 6°N 79°E. So, it should not be a surprise that during my visit to Australia and my stopover in Dubai, I discovered the 6 degrees of connection to my old home at 79 Mayfield Road.

When I spent the day with Joan, my former colleague from Singapore Airlines, we got chatting about the decades since we last met. She mentioned that her brother, whom I also knew, lived close by and that he and his wife Barathi wanted to meet me. A couple of weeks prior to my trip, I had learned that Barathi was related to my cousin's husband, so I was keen on meeting her. I had no idea that Barathi would connect me up with so many people I had been trying for years to reconnect with, but had not been able to. For starters, I learned that Barathi's mother's sister had lived up the street from my former home in Colombo.

As Barathi's mother and I chatted further, I found out that she was related to Rammy & Joyce whom I had known a long time ago and had stayed with on my very first trip to Australia. Then, I discovered that Pam, my friend and former colleague from the Tourism Promotion Board in Colombo was another of Barathi's mom's cousins. But, the most interesting coincidence of all was that Barathi and her husband lived next door to my very dear friend for many years, Chris--whom I had lost contact with and had tried several times to find.
Another night, when I connected up with my former classmates, my host Cheryl informed me that our former classmate Marina, who had the distinction of being the first in our class to get married was her neighbor! I had lost touch with Marina because she had moved to Australia right after the wedding. As I recapped my wonderful reunion with my classmates to my sister-in-law and the fact that I was also going to get in touch with another lost classmate, she told me that she had known Marina and her in-laws and would be delighted to meet her again. Talk about 6 degrees that make a difference even in different hemispheres!

Suffice it to say that I was able to meet with most of the people I reconnected with and at least talk to those whom time did not permit me to meet. Some people believe in the 6 degrees of separation. I have become a firm believer in the 6 degrees of connection.

Contemporary author, Chelsea Shakespeare sums up the idea of connections in the quote, “Everything is connected, like a delicate web ... New silvery strands come together every day, and once the strand is formed, no matter what superficial circumstances may sometimes keep you apart, it is never broken."

Have you had those moments when you tugged at one strand and it unraveled beautiful strands of connections?


Saturday, August 4, 2012

The Grand Sweet Song Of Life

I swear I have a jukebox in my head. In the middle of conversations, certain words trigger a song I have heard. Sometimes, I know the whole song, and sometimes, it is just a line or two. I often wake up with a song on my mind. So, it should be no surprise that I love music. I love almost all genres ... except heavy metal, head banger loud music and obscene rap. And, boy, do I love to sing!

My love for music and singing goes back as far as I can remember. When I was growing up, my family never owned a record player or a musical instrument. No one in our family played an instrument and none of us took music lessons. But, there was always always music in our humble home. My sister Jean had a Blaupunkt transistor radio, which we all gathered around and sang along to whatever Radio Ceylon was playing. My brothers were never short on friends and several of them played guitar. It was not uncommon for them to drop by with my brothers for an impromptu sing song.

My mother, devout Catholic that she was, always planned pilgrimages to various churches throughout the year to celebrate Mother Mary's feasts or a Saint's day. Mum usually hired (rented) a couple of buses and my brother's musician friends were always invited. On our way to the church we sang hymns, but on our way back, almost as soon as we left the church compound and had sung a hymn or two, we broke into regular music - ranging from the popular western music to Sinhala baila music.

I was always seated in the back with the musicians and the singers (male and female). I must admit that I hardly sat because even as the bus was swerving along, I was among those in the aisle dancing and singing. When we stopped for breaks, the music did not stop. We would get off the bus and sing, and, as far as my memory takes me back, I was always thrust into the center to chants of "Dance, Molly, Dance!" It was a request I could not refuse and soon others on the bus would join in. Other travelers would stop and either sing along if they knew the songs or clap their hands in tune.

My love for music continued as I grew up. I was part of the school choirs and joined the youth movement choir. Although I could not read music, I had a good ear and could follow along very quickly. I was the first to take popular songs and write Christian parodies that we sang at our youth Mass. Our choir led by Dennis Ramanaden was often requested to sing at weddings and other important functions at our Cathedral. Our youth movement also participated in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar and my brother Reggie played Herod to my Mary Magdalene. Shortly after that, I played a nun in a production of Sound of Music that had two weekend showings.

Whenever there was a party, I was always invited because I could be counted on to be first on the floor to get the party started. In my early 20s, When I became a radio announcer at Sri Lanka Broadcasting Corporation, it was a dream come true to play the music that I so enjoyed and to touch the records from bygone eras, evoking all the memories of my childhood.

Years later after I married, had a son and moved to the US, I bought the latest Disney music and sang along to the tapes. My son joined as soon as he could sing along. My children grew up hearing music always coming out of our home sound system and me singing along to the car radio. When my son was 16, he wanted to play guitar. Not knowing if this was a passing fancy, we bought him an acoustic guitar. With a few friends from school, he formed a band and taught himself to play. We indulged him with an electric base guitar and amplifier. He took his love for music to new heights, learning music and writing songs and lyrics.

A few weeks ago, my son was driving with me to see a movie and I had the radio on and was belting out to Elton John's "Don't let the sun go down." He smiled and looked at me and said, "You know that you taught me to love music. Do you remember those Disney songs that you and I would sing to? That was where it all began ... and I always heard you singing." In that instant when my son and I were seeing eye to eye, I remembered the words of Plato, "Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue."

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Kebayas and Crowns

I woke up with a headache – I was feeling the after effects of the champagne and the wine. I was in the afterglow of last night’s celebrations and my spontaneous acceptance speech. Next to my bed, the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay reminded me of the thrill of winning an award for telling the story of a global reunion of close colleagues. More importantly, it was validation of the strength of the relationships that were established in the innocence of our youth in the 80s. Despite time and space, we had been able to pick right up where we had left off, even though all of us were now parents with children almost the age we were when we had formed the close bonds of friendship.

Who would have thought that when I initially penned my diary of events since the auspicious trip to London that it would become a movie script that would bring together a constellation of stars. As director, Clint Eastwood was able to bring to life the emotion, laughter and quirkiness of each of us. Halle Berry played Iranthi Anandappa to perfection, even getting her “Yah” expressions interspersed so effectively.

I had wanted to play my own role, but Reese Witherspoon’s convincing performance made me realize that it would never have been such a Box Office hit without her. Her sense of stylish elegance combined with her bubbly personality brought out all the subtle nuances of my mischievous personality. She had won her second Academy Award for Actress in a lead role. Halle Berry had won her second for Actress in a supporting role.

Colin Firth was an excellent selection to play Jeremy Soertz who had a confidence with a soft aura of endearing arrogance that was more charming than offensive. I must admit that my initial trepidation about George Clooney playing Prince Kamalanesan was eradicated when Clooney brought out Prince’s “aw shucks sincerity.”

Yes, Clint Eastwood’s casting was spot on. Aishwarya Rai as Maya Daniels, Jim Carrey as Fabian Rooff. Charlize Theron as Becky Wambeek. He even managed to get Shahrukh Khan to play the role of Siva Ramachandran. Khan had turned down the role of the game show host in the blockbuster Slum Dog Millionaire, so the fact that he signed on for our movie was beyond belief.

My reverie was interrupted with my phone ringing off the hook and my Blackberry was signaling the flood of emails. I realize I need to get my coffee so I can focus on the time differences in the various parts of the world and call each one of SQ Eighties team who had made the reunion possible. This award was for each of them who inspired the story.

We were the Royal Flush … all the high value cards in the same vein. Although we were each different, the unifying factor was our common interest in doing the best job we could. We didn’t compete with each other, yet we helped each other succeed. We shared our successes and our disappointments. We had the best time of our lives – unfazed by whatever was going on. This was before TV, the digital age or the Internet. Our entertainment consisted of any kind of get together – lunches, dinner parties, picnics and playing pranks.

As I held the Oscar in my hand again, I smiled thinking back to 2012—the year Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her 60 years of wearing the crown as Monarch of Great Britain. It was the year that started the global reconnection of the Colombo Singapore Airlines staff of the eighties. The era when the Singapore Girls of Colombo wore their Kebayas with pride and the team embraced the airline’s motto “In Pursuit of Excellence.”

And I reached for the phone to call Iranthi to thank her for her encouragement to develop the script that eventually became the blockbuster movie that earned me my first Oscar and the thrill of working with Sir Elton John on the lyrics for the songs. That was the crowning moment of my life because it doesn’t get more Royal than that!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Building Bridges in London

Ever since I remember I have wanted to visit London. Growing up in a former British Colony that had gained independence just 10 years before I was born, we were still pretty much influenced by Great Britain. My father's love for English literature instilled a passion in his children for the written and spoken word. I took this passion a step further by studying drama and excelling in the works of William Shakespeare. 

Beyond the literature, my father encouraged us to read about Britain's rich history and about the time when the sun never set on the British Empire. I was a frequent attendee at the Colombo British Council screenings of British history or Shakespearean films. One movie that fascinated and intrigued me was "Bequest to the Nation" - the movie about Lord Horatio Nelson, the hero of the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805.

And of course, who wasn't taken up with the whole Royal wedding fanfare in 1981? 1981 seemed to be an auspicious and eventful year. My brother Josh married Magdalene in May that year, Prince Charles & Lady Diana's fairytale wedding was in July and I got married in October. By strange coincidence, Queen Elizabeth was visiting Sri Lanka on my wedding day on October 24, 1981!

Fast forward to 2012 ... Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana's son William and Kate will be celebrating their 1st wedding anniversary. HRH Queen Elizabeth II will be celebrating her Diamond Jubilee as Monarch. The venue for the Summer Olympics will be ... London! It seemed like the perfect time for me to plan my much anticipated visit to London.

My original plans were to stay with a friend of mine who had been asking me to visit him for almost 30 years. His requests had become more eager after he and his family visited my family in 2005. So in March, I finally made the arrangements. I planned to be in London for 10 days, doing the usual "tourist things," visiting the places of interest that I had read so much about and then return home to celebrate my birthday with my husband.

And then, 1981 took over. My sister Jean gave me the London phone number for Philomena (my brother Josh's sister-in-law). We had both been bridesmaids at Josh & Magdalene's wedding. She insisted that I stay with her a few days and that I also visit her sister Catherine in Scotland. And then, I wrote a casual email to a couple of my former colleagues from Singapore Airlines who had been living in London for more than 25 years, as long as I had been living in the United States. Iranthi, my former colleague who had joined Singapore Airlines in 1981 responded that she would love to host a lunch at her place the day after I arrived.

Then, during a conversation with Dennis and Cecilia, friends of mine from my teens, I learned that they would be visiting Dennis' sister Rosemary in London on their way to Prague. Dennis had been the choir leader at my church and had sung "Ave Maria" at my wedding. I hadn't seen Dennis and Cecilia for almost 30 years, because I had moved out of my home town after I got married.

Needless to say, with all the interconnections of 1981, my plans became fluid ... I reconnected with close friends I had not been in touch with for almost 30 years. My first cousin Geetha and I had reconnected via Facebook after more than 35 years. Her mother and my dad were siblings and had shared the same love of literature and history. My dad and I would entertain her with excerpts from Shakespeare and she also participated in the  ribald jokes and repartee with the rest of my family. She loved to go with us to the movies and we had seen "My Fair Lady" a couple of times because it enjoyed a successful six month run in the cinema circuit in Sri Lanka. Regretably, After my father's death in 1979, we had grown apart. I was finally going to meet Geetha and her family! 

From the time I landed at Heathrow, I had the time of my life in London and Scotland. I was tourist by day, but friend, confidante and "sister" by evening. Geetha made our physical reunion so memorable and she made my visit unforgettable. I visited most of the places that I had planned on seeing. 

I stood in Trafalgar Square beside Nelson's Column and I recalled the life and times of the victorious Lord Horatio Nelson. As I gazed at most of the 24 bridges in Central London, I gained a deeper understanding of Britain's naval supremacy of yore. I visited many war memorials and felt the sense of heroism of the brave men and women who brought freedom to Europe and the West. 

I was in awe at London's Parliament where a former Chemist brought men to tears and earned the nickname "Iron Lady" ... the true seat of Democracy where integrity is still valued and expected. And there was Westminster Abbey and Big Ben, untouched by the relentless bombing by Germany.  

Dwarfed beside the towering statue of Dwight D. Eisenhower in Grosvenor Square, I could sense his power as Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe in WWII. As I walked around this area, I was transported back to the time when the greatest minds were formulating strategies to win the war.

As I reflect on my visit to London, my feelings can be summed up in the statement I made standing in front of Buckingham Palace. "These may not be the Pearly Gates, but I sure feel like I have died and gone to heaven."

While I enjoyed visiting the places of historical significance, what resonated most for me was the rekindling of the relationships ... the building of the bridges. I reconnected with people I hadn't talked to in decades ... people who knew me when I was very young. I will continue to nurture and strengthen them because that is what recharged me emotionally and spiritually. The nuances and significance of 1981 will not be missed.